Hilarious and disturbing in how much it has needed to be said. My favorite bit:
“ 4. Develop a physical awareness of your surroundings. As children, we live in our own heads, bonking into things, gnawing on twigs, emitting random squawks because we don’t know how to talk yet. Then, we enter nursery school. You, having graduated college or reached a similar age to that of the college graduate, need to learn to sense others and get out of their way. Walk single file. Don’t blather loudly in public spaces. Give up your seat to those with disabilities or who are struggling with small children. Take your headphones off while interacting with clerks and passersby. Do not walk along and then stop suddenly. It is not just you on the street; account for that fact.”
My own contribution to this is the boring “keep right except to pass.” I’m usually just bothered by two things when driving:
- Passing Lane Squatters (as I’ve dubbed them, except the term sometimes follows a less-descriptive, more emotional adjective), and…
- Failure to Indicate (as in turns or lane-changes).
Unfortunately, the entire Passing Lane situation is complicated by two other things:
- My Lovely State‘s lack of any laws related to the Passing Lane, and…
- My Larvaly State‘s perverse plethora of Left-side Exit Lanes! (pardon the alliteration)
Hence the righteous indignation (which might otherwise lead me to shoot cars with paintball guns) must remain at bay.
Laws can be changed, but Exit Lanes are forever.